When a poor man eats a chicken, there can be only one reason…

When Bibi fobs off redirects an issue to the head of the Jewish Agency and asks him to figure something out, there could be three reasons:

1. This issue is so important to Bibi that he absolutely must have someone else resolve it.
2. This issue of gender equality and religion commands the most urgent attention from government that it cannot be addressed by government.
3. The solution ultimately devised by the Jewish Agency will have so much teeth, sharks will snicker amongst themselves.

Considering the rudderlessness of the Jewish Agency and its muddled mission of “identity building”, Bibi picked the perfect desk for what he perceives to be a pile of mess known as Women of the Wall, a group of women who have the chutzpah to insist on practicing Judaism at Judaism’s holiest site.

If I forget thee, O Kotel, let my right foot wither…

What Sharansky can do (that Bibi cannot) is look earnest as he considers the sides on this issue, tisk-tisking as well-meaning mostly North-American women demand to be equal participants in their own religion while coalition-connected Haredi rabbis form a penalty kick wall to defend the Kotel from feminist defilement.

Sharansky can continue to look perturbed as nothing is ultimately done (or perhaps, here’s a great idea, would y’all like to pray at Robinson’s Arch?)  and women continue to be arrested for the crime of bringing a tallit to the Kotel as they were last Friday.

And Bibi…?  GOOOOOOOAAAAA…..!

He has an election to win and with support slipping away from Likud to the bloc of right-wing-religious nationalists (spearheaded by the homophobic Naftali Bennett of the rebooted “HaBayit HeYehudi” party) on his (hard-)right, Bibi looks resolute in protecting the sanctity of the Kotel (and his religious-nationalist base) while addressing an issue that North American Jews seem to care about in direct proportion to the number of votes these progressive North American Jews will be casting in January’s election – a number unsurprisingly too small to quantify.  …..AAAAAAALLLL!!!

Then I told him: Sure! Make a greeting with a cat and a parrot!

… okay, so it was not just me.

I have to admit that Bibi can do it.

He is comfortable in front of the camera.  His Hebrew is flawless as is his English.

Though he could not divert from message enough to wish Israel a happy birthday without touting Likud achievements and pledging more of the same in the coming year, it was nice to hear that Bibi likes a good mangal.  But I quibble… Bibi delivered a lovely message to the People of Israel.

But then, in the final moments, Bibi could not leave well enough alone.  He had to close with a weak Hinei Mah Tov segue that faded out and faded in to a zip-cuffed singing cat and a warbling parrot too drunk to realize that the blender next to him was not another parrot.  Had Bibi not lamely segued, I would have thought that the segment was added on by #Anonymous or a BDS-supporting hacker hell-bent on embarrassing the Prime Minister.   It seems someone in the PMO thought this would be a fabulous way to end a clip recorded by Israel’s Head of State for the Israeli people to formally mark Israel’s birthday.

Perhaps you think I exaggerate.  Skip ahead to 1:04 …

Happy Birthday, Israel!  Happy Parrot, Bibi!

I cannot wait to see which CGI creatures close the Prime Minister’s clip next year … perhaps a hogtied Kipi ben Kipod and a libidinous hyrax from the Jordan Valley will sing Yachad …  ?

Give it some thought…