I have written before (here and here) about why the Rabbinate, through its own hijinks, has proven to be an institution VERY worthy of, shall we say, “resource relocation”.  And then there’s that little matter of Women of the Wall…

Here’s another.

In these troubled times, when the Jewish people are facing so many challenges (or so pulpit rabbis and mainstream machers tell us), our institutional leadership (Israel branch) has decided to take on an issue of monumental import: the regulation of the shape of dairy and non-dairy bourekas.

Three sides GOOD! Four sides BAD!

It seems that folks with the fever for the flavour of bourekas overflowing with tasty fillings are confused and brain-addled by hunger… so much so that they cannot distinguish between meat and milk.

So, to the rescue, comes the Rabbinate with the following edict:  Square for pareve!  Triangle for dairy!  … OR LOSE YOUR KASHRUT CERTIFICATE!!

It does not end there.  There are also rules for puff pastry vs. filo dough as well as the shape of croissants and rugelach.

But before you begin railing against the pernicious creep of BIG RABBINATE and vote Republican, it seems that this latest round of rabbinic regulation is an update and/or clarification of a decades’ old practice.

The difference is that now, minhag has become mitzvah with the “appropriate” consequence and, more importantly, the appropriate regulatory apparatus has been deployed to keep Jews safe from defilement!   Baruch Hashem and pass that three-sided feta cheese with sun-dried tomato tasty immediately!

drdan

In this week’s episode: Genesis 32-25.  We examine yet another disturbing story in the Tanakh – the rape of Dinah – and how commentators of various persuasions (male and female, strident and stodgy) have understood the incident.  We also consider how female sexuality and sex work challenge male notions of propriety and morality – and how, in the Tanakh, it usually ends badly for everyone.  Sigh.

BTW, Ellen Frankel’s Five Books Of Miriam: A Woman’s Commentary on the Torah can be purchased here and Elyse Goldstein’s Women’s Torah Commentary can be purchased here.

drdan

In this week’s episode: Genesis 28-31.  Alongside with numerous Beastie Boys references, we consider a popular corollary to the notion of biblical justice and ponder the role of commentaries in our understanding of Tanakh.  So here’s a-nother one for y’all to peep.  It’s called T-A-N-A on the K-H-C.

BTW, the link to the New York Times article about the near-toppling of an Israeli government because of a “disparaging” comment about King David can be found here.

drdan

In this week’s episode: Genesis 24-27.  We examine the rivalry between Yaakov and Esav from the perspective of bad names, bad contracts and bad blood.  Though free-marketeers cry Caveat Emptor, we consider the raw deal Yaakov offered Esav and the further raw dealing (and goat-hair-wearing) implicating Rivkah and Yitzhak at the expense of Esav.

BTW, the link to the Freakonomics episode about names can be found here.

drdan

In this week’s episode: Genesis 20-23.  We decide once and for all whether Avraham deserves a spot alongside Sandy Koufax, Leonard Nimoy and Barbra Streisand in the Jewish pantheon.  We consider Avraham’s track record in the run-up to his biggest moment in the Tanakh: the Akkedah, or binding of his son Yitzhak – and conclude that his place in the Hall of Fame might merit another round or two of voting.

drdan

Loyal TanakhCast listeners have asked: “Say, hey where did you get that clip of William Shatner…”

Or: “Say, hey, what’s that song that marks the transition between the recap bit and the chatty bit?”

Thus, I have decided to provide a list of “credits” and source all the little clips and snippets from the wonderful world of the Interwebs.

The list begins with the song that marks the transition between the recap bit and the chatty bit or the transition between the chatty bit and the closing bit:

“Alfie” by Lili Allen from her debut studio album, Alright, Still.  It can be purchased from iTunes here..

The “Y’all come back now, ya hear” at the end of each broadcast comes from the closing credits of “The Beverley Hillbillies” which can be heard at the end of the episode here.

Episode 1 did not have any samples.

Episode 2:

“Twinkle Twinkle” on the xylophone came from here.

Chekov says “This is Vodka” here.

Luis Esquivel’s “Mucha Muchacha” from the album Cabaret Manana can be purchased from iTunes here.

“Silly Rabbit, Trix are for Kids” came from a collection of Trix commercials here.

Episode 3:

“Let’s Get Ready to Rumble” by Craziewhite Peckawoods can be purchased from iTunes here.

Mitt Romney says “Corporations are people my friend” here.

Dana Carvey as “Saturday Night Live”‘s Church Lady says “Isn’t that special?” here.

“I Believe” sung by Andrew Rannells from the Book of Mormon soundtrack can be purchased from iTunes here.

William Shatner saying “Spock, are you out of your mind?” was here, but has since been taken down by CBS.  :(

The “Whatchu talkin’ bout Willis?” compilation from “Diff’rent Strokes” came from here.

The “Gilligan’s Island” theme came from here.

Bart Simpson says “Noah, save us!  …NO!!” in Season 3 Episode 6  entitled “Like Father, Like Clown” here.

Episode 4:

The French taunting comes from Monty Python and the Holy Grail here.

Peabody and Sherman head back into “Peabody’s Improbable History” here.

Nigel wonders “What’s wrong with being sexy?” from This is Spinal Tap here.

The London Fanfare Trumpets play their flourish here.

Jeff Spicoli says “You Dick!” to Mr. Hand in Fast Times at Ridgemont High here.

W.C. Fields observes “What a catastrophe!” in Never Give a Sucker an Even Break here.

Episode 5:

Biff says “Why don’t you make like a tree and get outta here” to McFly in Back to the Future here.

The theme song from “The Jetsons” came from here.

The “All Time Best Heroic Song” came from here.

Ali G says “Booyakasha!” here.

“Nudge Nudge” from the third Monty Python’s Flying Circus episode “How to Recognise Different Types of Trees From Quite a Long Way Away” came from here.

Heather Locklear says “And so on and so on and so on” in the Faberge Organics Shampoo commercial here.

Charlton Heston says “The Lord of Hosts will do battle for us!  Behold his mighty hand!” in a clip from Cecille B. DeMille’s The Ten Commandments here.

Episode 6:

“The Haggle” comes from Monty Python’s The Life of Brian here.

Arnold Schwarzenegger needs clothes and offers assistance in clips from Terminator 2: Judgment Day here.

The medical disclaimer from a 2012 Cialis commercial can be heeded here.

“You Bastard!” as exclaimed by John Cleese in “The Restaurant Sketch” from the third Monty Python’s Flying Circus episode, “How to Recognise Different Types of Trees From Quite a Long Way Away” can be enjoyed here.

Mitt Romney reasserts that “Corporations are people my friend” here.

Butters sings “What What in the Butt” in Season 12, Episode 4 of South Park entitled ‘Canada on Strike’ here.

Episode 7: (…which will be go live tomorrow! Spoilers!!)

The rebooted McCoy says “Spock, are you out of your vulcan mind?” here.

Charlton Heston declares his legendary line from Planet of the Apes here.

Jeff Spicoli says “You Dick!” to Mr. Hand in Fast Times at Ridgemont High again here.

Law and Order’s “dun dun” came from here.

Jabba the Hut’s laugh from Return of the Jedi came from here.

Leonard Nimoy sings “The Legend of Bilbo Baggins” here.

drdan

In this week’s episode: Genesis 16-19.  We examine two very powerful human emotions: laughter and fear.  Though laughter might bring life to the party, fear insures that life will go on.  (Now that’s a scary thought…)  We will also consider why our biblical forebears laughed in God’s face and how the real sin of Sodom had nothing to do with naughty bits.

BTW, the Radiolab podcast can be found here.  This American Life on tribes can be found here.  You can buy Inside Jokes: Using Humour to Reverse Engineer the Mind by Matthew Hurley, Daniel Dennett, and Reginald Adams Jr. here or Jared Diamond’s The World Until Yesterday: What Can We Learn from Traditional Societies? here.  And Jay Michaelson’s book God vs. Gay?: The Religious Case for Equality can be found here.

drdan

This new feature at The Next Jew will focus on pieces in the mainstream and/or Jewish press that folks share with me that report/echo what I wrote about in End Of The Jews: Radical Breaks, Remakes and What Comes Next.

HOW DARE YOU SAY “GREEN LINE”?!?

This week, a piece from the Jewish Chronicle about how the extreme polarization of the American Jewish community has made the topic of “Israel” a toxic, no-fly zone.

Admittedly, “toxic, no-fly zone” is a mixed-metaphor, but it nonetheless summons a telling image of the petroleum-sludge eating Gamera rising from the shores of the Pacific before retracting his hind-legs and rocketing through space to devour yet another panel discussion about the future of the Two-State Solution.  Watch out, Alan Dershowitz!

drdan

In this week’s episode: Genesis 12-15.  We examine the not-so-heroic behaviour of the First Father Avram during his sojourn in Egypt as we ponder the nature of biblical heroes.  We also consider the ramifications of time travel on choice, free will and the fate of Avram’s descendants in Egypt as Avram shoos away vultures in the “Covenant of the Pieces”.  Will Skynet prevail?

drdan

All of my blogging energies have been channeled of late into TanakhCast … which, so far, has met its pledge of a new episode every week-ish!  Tfu tfu tfu, knock salt and kiss the mezuzah…

But fear not, dear readers!

I am sure the tomfoolery of the organized Jewish community will inspire me to periodically put my bemusement to words in this space.

And if you are looking for yet another opportunity to connect with The Next Jew or TanakhCast, why not  follow my blog with Bloglovin?

drdan